Aug 4 Gratitude List

1. Thank you for writing the book Loving What Is, Byron Katie.

2. Thank you for writing the book The Genius of Stretching, Bob Cooley.

3. Thank you for being in my life, John (my partner).

4. Thank you for being in my life, John (my friend).

5. Thank you for being in my life, Kira (my daughter).

6. Thank you for being a part of my life, Austin (my relinquished son).

7. Thank you for being good in-laws, Bob & Karen and Ann & Carl.

8. Thank you for the beautiful day outside.

9. Thank you for good friends and the freedom to go and visit with them.

10. Thank you for the bounty of the life I have around me.

Aug 3 Gratitude List

I'm changing the format of my gratitude list somewhat. I want to include "thank you" in it, so I'm going to start stating it as "Thank you for..."

1. Thank you for bringing John into my life.

2. Thank you for my beautiful daughter.

3. Thank you for my wonderful home.

4. Thank you for my dear kitty.

5. Thank you for giving me plenty to eat.

6. Thank you for the magnificent weather outside today.

7. Thank you for the wonder of life, and for showing me how to live it more clearly.

8. Thank you for the motivation to exercise more regularly again.

9. Thank you for the friends in my life.

10. Thank you for bringing me closer each day to a place of peace within myself.

Interesting dream

I had a strange dream last night. I don't usually share them, though I typically remember most of them each night. This one has some odd elements in it, and although it sounds like a bit of a horror flick, it oddly had no negative feelings associated with it at all. To the contrary. Anyway, here goes:

I am standing on a ledge of the ruins of an old monastery located in a swamp. Across a green, verdant river is a city. With me are other members of my team; we are snipers (and some of them not very good ones, might I add). While we are taking out targets robbing someone in the city on the "outer bank," the woman beside me gets shot in the head. I shoot the robber who shot her, and then pick up her body and carry her off of the ledge.

Now, oddly, there is nothing horrific about this. I feel sad, but I also feel that there is something beautiful in the death of this woman. She died while saving the lives of hostages, and she died while saving the lives of her fellow "snipers." I get a sense that she is a bit of an annoying person, but that I liked her and got on with her quite well (though everyone else hated her).

So as I carry her inside, I realize that she's aware. She's dead, but her "soul" is now awake and alert and ready for death. She steps aside, out of the dead body, and watches me carry her off of the ledge/balcony.

Then all of the living head out to take baths in the clear pools that can be found in various areas of the swamp (the swamp is not a dark, ugly swamp- it is a more like a beautiful wetland, a very cheery and vibrant place). I find one of the pools and am swimming in the clear, cool, beautiful water. Suddenly I hear singing, and I look up to find my friend singing to me. None of the other people in the pond can hear her.

I'm a little embarassed, because the words of the song make it clear that she thinks I'm a hero for carrying her off of the battlefield, and for the way that I honored her death. I want to ask her to stop "singing my praises," but I can't because others will hear me and not know who I'm talking to.

The whole scenario repeats three times in a row, though now she simply "re-enacts" her death each time that we're on that ledge... and then comes and sings to me at the (different each time) pond that I am bathing at.

It was strange, but oddly enough, not negative.

I don't really have an interpretation, I just found it to be a highly interesting and odd sort of dream.

July 30 Gratitude List

1. I am so grateful that John is a such a great dad and partner- reading about other men reminds me of how great John is, how helpful and considerate, and how hard he tries.

2. I am grateful for my beautiful daughter.


3. I am grateful that Austin is part of my life.

4. I am grateful for my sweet kitty, Song.

5. I am grateful for family visits (John's grandparents came up from Florida).

6. I am grateful for cars.

7. I am grateful for the ease and convenience of getting organic food in this area.

8. I am grateful for exercise.

9. I am grateful to feel alert, awake, and energized in the mornings.

10. I am grateful that I have a lovely home in a wonderful neighborhood.

July 29 Gratitude List

1. I am glad I am still nursing Kira

2. I am happy to be with John

3. I am grateful for the good friends in my life

4. I am honored and happy to have Kira in my life

5. I am happy that I have pictures and video of Kira

6. I'm glad to have Austin as part of my life

7. I am thankful for the beauty in the world

8. I'm glad it rained yesterday

9. I am happy that there is so much good in my life

10. I am glad that I am happy

July 28 Gratitude List

1. I am grateful for my dear, beloved John.

2. I am so happy to have my daughter in my life.

3. I am enjoying exercising each day.

4. I am pleased with the results of my exercising thus far.

5. I am enjoying good food.

6. I am enjoying good health.

7. I am grateful for my beautiful home.

8. I love the neighborhood I live in.

9. I am grateful for my in-laws and how generous and loving they are.

10. I am grateful to live in America and enjoy freedom of speech.

My daughter's birth

When my daughter was born, it was such an amazing and wonderful moment. When I first heard her dear little voice, I said, "Oh my god, she's here! She's here!"

When I saw her sweet little face for the first time, I cried so hard. "She's so beautiful! So beautiful!"

I shouldn't be, but I was amazed at the incredible, indescribably beautiful feelings that I experienced as I looked at her. What a beautiful treasure. How magnificent. How delightful.

How beloved.